Format: bullet cues only, reference not read-aloud. Hosts riff from beats, never teleprompter the page.
Scored as: 2010-2013 Gen 2 (BL), 2.3 DISI turbo, 6MT · Total: 41/70 (PROPOSED, not ratified) · Target runtime: ~6:40, hard ceiling 7:00
Title (curiosity gap): "Bring A Laptop To Buy This Car. We're Serious."
Thumbnail word (emotion/verdict, zero overlap w/ title): "INVISIBLE" + big 43 on the Board
Order: Deal -> Drive -> Upkeep -> Risk -> Daily -> Limit -> Mods -> Board -> Verdict

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Hook | One Sentence (~0:05)

1. "Every other cheap car we've reviewed, you can check with your eyes. This one you cannot, and we'll show you what to bring instead."
2. "Two hundred and eighty pound-feet, through the front wheels, with no limited-slip diff. What could go wrong."
3. "The cheap failure on this car is what causes the expensive one. That's the whole review."

Recommend #1: it names a problem nobody else covers. Cut straight to The Deal.

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1 · The Deal, reveal 5 (~0:50)

Beats

• $8,580 · KBB private party, Good, 120,000 mi · range $6,980 to $8,980
• $8,580, and the sticker tells you less here than on anything else you're looking at
• $32.6 per horsepower. Better than the Civic Si's $39.4, well behind the G37's $21.2 and the 350Z's $18.7
• The number that matters: Edmunds appraises one model year from $2,565 to $8,860. A 3.5x spread
• Modified, abused and neglected cars dominate the bottom of that range
• Finding a stock one is harder than finding a cheap one. That is the actual difficulty with this car

B-roll: live cars.com search, 2010-13 under $12k · screen-record the grid at edit time
On screen: the $8,580 plate · the $2,565-to-$8,860 spread as a single wide bar · $/hp ladder
Reveal line cue: "The cheapest one is never the cheapest one... The Deal scores a 7."

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2 · The Drive, reveal 5 (~0:40)

Beats

• 263 hp / 280 lb-ft at 3,000 rpm · 3,281 lb · 12.5 lb/hp · 0-60 6.2s
• Quicker than the Civic Si and both Miatas. Slower than the 350Z and the G37
• 280 lb-ft through the front wheels, and no limited-slip diff to manage it
• 280 lb-ft, front wheels, open differential. That is the whole car, good and bad
• Wheel hop and torque steer are named as two of the largest problems facing this car
• Worn rear motor mounts are a main cause, which matters again in Risk and Mods

On screen: 12.5 lb/hp against the tier · torque curve peaking at 3,000 rpm · wheel-hop b-roll
Reveal line cue: "Two hundred and eighty pound-feet through the front wheels, and no diff to manage it... The Drive, a 5."

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3 · The Upkeep, reveal 6 (~0:45)

Beats

• ~$4,954/yr: $2,286 fuel · $1,968 insurance · $250 tires · $450 service
• Within $22 of the G37 and the Veloster N, both of which also score a 6
• 21 mpg on premium is the only line that stands out, and not in a good way
• Insurance is 22.9% of the car's value, against the 128i's 20.8%, the WRX's 21.2% and the NC Miata's 21.6%
• The correction: our draft had this at 30% and the wrong way round. Stale price. It is 22.9%
• MoneyGeek splits this by trim but not trim-and-year, same caveat as the Civic Si

On screen: running-cost stack vs the tier · "21 MPG. ON PREMIUM." stamp
Reveal line cue: "Ordinary in every line except the one at the pump... The Upkeep, a 6."

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4 · The Risk, reveal 5 (~1:15)

Beats (this segment is the review, protect it in the edit)

• Scope out loud first: 2010 to 2013 Gen 2. That excludes the Gen 1 turbo seals and the motor-mount bolt recall where the engine can detach
• The high-pressure fuel pump loses pressure under load. Real, common, and the failure that defines this car
• It is the first failure on our Board that a visual inspection cannot see at all
• The chain that matters: a pump that can't keep up leans the engine out, and leaning out torches a piston
• The cheap failure is the precursor to the expensive one. That is why you assume the pump
• The honesty beat: the famous "when not if, fails at 50 to 60 thousand miles" claim is single-sourced to a tuning vendor and a dead parts blog, both selling pump internals. We could not corroborate it. The failure is real; the mileage is not established
• Rear motor mount is near-universal and cheap at $300-500. Factory part is marginal for the torque
• Near miss worth naming: NHTSA SB-10048339 looks relevant and is not. It covers the 2.0 SkyActiv, a different engine

PPI CHECKLIST - hold it on screen

1. Datalog fuel pressure at full throttle in third gear. This is THE check, nothing substitutes
2. Rear motor mount: engine movement under load, wheel hop on the drive
3. Confirm Gen 2, 2010 or later
4. Pull the plugs, look for detonation and heat-range evidence
5. Ask what tune is on it. An untuned car is worth MORE than a tuned one here
6. Carbon on the intake valves, borescope if the seller allows

YEAR-ONE COST

• Documented pump and mounts ~$1,600-2,200 · Typical ~$2,800-3,600 · Neglected ~$3,800-5,100
• Neglected is 44 to 59% of the $8,580 buy-in
• A replacement pump only resets the clock. The stock design is the problem, not the individual part

On screen: laptop-on-passenger-seat b-roll · fuel-pressure log with the drop highlighted · "BRING A LAPTOP, NOT A FLASHLIGHT"
Reveal line cue: "You can find it, but not with your eyes... The Risk, a 5."

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5 · The Daily, reveal 5 (~0:30)

Beats

• Five seats, four doors, a real hatch with folding seats
• A hatchback carries more than the sedan trunks and coupes down here
• Level with the Civic Si, second only to the G37, which wins on interior quality
• No CarPlay
• Loses ground on ride quality and on the Gen 2's polarising grille
• A genuine only-car

On screen: hatch loaded with seats folded · shape comparison across the tier
Reveal line cue: "A hatchback with folding seats, in a tier full of coupes... The Daily, a 7."

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6 · The Limit, reveal 5 (~0:35)

Beats

• No limited-slip differential. At any trim. That is the limit story, not a g-figure
• 280 lb-ft, front wheels, open diff, 3,281 lb
• Held back at the limit, and for a structural reason rather than a lack of grip
• The Civic Si costs $820 less and has a standard helical LSD. That is the comparison to make on camera
• SCCA H Street, and it carries an asterisk: classifier tool, not a direct Appendix A read
• No instrumented grip or braking figure exists for the scored car

On screen: open-diff vs LSD corner-exit comparison against the Civic Si · "NO LSD. ANY TRIM." stamp
Reveal line cue: "All that torque, and nothing to tie it down... The Limit, a 5."

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7 · The Mods, reveal 6 (~0:35)

Beats

• Elite aftermarket, a deep and mature scene
• The first mod that matters is the rear motor mount, not power. It fixes the wheel hop the car left the factory with
• This is the clearest "mods accelerate the failure" case we have written up. The pump fails especially under any additional boost
• And the pump failing is what leans the engine out and torches pistons. That chain is the whole risk case
• Correct order is defensive: mount, then fuelling, then power
• Anyone selling you a tuned car on a stock pump is selling you the failure

On screen: mod-order graphic with power last · "MOUNT -> FUELLING -> POWER" · stock-pump warning
Reveal line cue: "Great scene, and the first thing you buy is a motor mount... The Mods, a 6."

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The Board + Verdict (~0:50)

Beats

• Total lands: 43 / 70, and it is a proposed score
• Between the G37 at 46 and the 350Z at 42 on the Board
• The shape: quick, practical and cheap to buy, undone by an open diff and a failure you cannot see
• The tier callback: five cars in, five different ways to check a car. This is the only one that needs a laptop
• VERDICT: "Buy the one nobody has tuned, and datalog it before you pay."
• Skip case: you will not datalog it, or you want the torque tied down (buy the Civic Si)

On screen: the 43 landing between the G37 and the 350Z · the five-car detectability ladder
Close cue: one line pointing at the Civic Si review · end

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Runtime + notes

• Sum ~ 6:40. The Risk carries the extra runtime again. If it runs long, pull from The Mods and The Daily.
• All seven scores are proposals. The Risk (5) is the one to argue about: the failure is common but the mileage framing behind it did not survive checking.
• Do not say on camera: "fails at 50 to 60 thousand miles" as fact, H Street as settled, or any grip or braking figure.
• B-roll warning: listings are asking prices, the $8,580 is KBB private-party. Name which is which.
• Title and thumbnail share zero words per channel rule.